//...Raging Fire Burn...\\

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Worried...

I am realli getting realli realli worried for a lot of things.

One... my health.
Have realli been stretched till the max recently. Coming early to work and goin home at the wink of nigh. Hardly have even 4hours of sleep per nite. Coffee is alr useless. But for the sake of my work, I gotta keep awake. How??? Feel so tired yet still working OT endless nites to ensure my bloody client get all their goods.
Sometimes I realli wonder why dun the ppl at Motorola just drop dead and die... pls exclude my Haiying-jie. Hehe!!!

Two... my work.
Apparently there is realli a new management coming to take over my company. Not to say my job is at stake. Just that since my shi fu is going to retire, I will b taking over her job totally.
Sort of gets me worried. Though she has always been there to comfort me, encourage me that it will be easier, things just dun seem that way to me. I am going to control a bigger production team and definitely needs more precise and accurate planning. Me... I am depending quite a lot from my shi fu. Just imagining when she is gone. Sort of scares me.

Anyway, still left a month about there before she leave. Gotta realli absorb like a bloody sponge now. Haha!!!

Three... my client.
Or more so, just one client. Relation with her seems getting realli down into the drain. She just keeps tying me down with some bloody rigid reports. Nevertheless, I still have a way to go about it. Anyway, after today's report which I got back at her, her tone of her emails does seems a little worried and pissed off with me. BUT I DUN CARE!!!! Rules she wants, and so by it I shall follow.

Lastly, balance.
Realli find it hard to juggle between work and social life. Apparently have ut a lot of things on hold. Postpone few meetings with a few old camp friends quite a few times. Also, cancelled a few dinners with my cousin. Sort of feeling pretty guilty. Though I do not wish to do it, but my work just keeps to clash with all my plans. Feel so sad.

But at least glad that I still have a social life with my colleague. Guess that is at least able to make out a bit, though I miss most of my friends. Though sometimes I realli wonder if these bonds are realli meant to be. Just let time tell I guess. After all, all good things muz come to an end.

Yawn!!! Realli am tired liao. Just waiting for my friend to finish her last bit of work b4 going home. Just think of tml, muz go down to Jurong High Tech n meet my clients, realli spoil my whole nite. Sigh!!!!

Nvm, shan't think so much. Update when I have more time.

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 10/26/2004 11:28:00 PM

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Sunday, October 17, 2004

Totally Shagged

Hmmm....Another day of work.
Yep!!! Sunday...but it is the onli day where I can find time to actually work on my JHT's liability items and leave the Motorola production to my team. Apparently, the items built for the usage of JHT by my upperstudy has been longed neglected. Not to speak of the thick layer of dust on the long-rotten packages. Had to repack them all over again to get ready for JHT to take back their liability items.

Anyway, had not realli been exercising much lately. Today with all the climbing, running standing... I am realli aching all over. Actually, say the truth, I have been doing this lately since I am short of staff and also facing a high demand of items. Prob it is good...prepare for my reservist...which I dunno when will I get a unit. Hehehe!!!

Got home pretty early today since I had to make a trip down to Gleneages Hospital to visit my Aunt Jacqueline who is down for a major surgery. Juz hope she recovers soon.

Got to spend time with muy new PC...but now had to leave it aside since I do not want it to disturb and disrupt the conversion of my Charmed movies into MPEG files. I realli love my new PC.
So powerful!!!
Now Charmed is always at my disposal. Hahaha!!!

Anyway, am using my old PC to blog since I am more use with this keyboard (able to type faster somehow). Also need to try use my internet time. Dun want it to go to waste...paying $9.50 per month for nothing.

Ok, realli dunno wat to type. Juz noe need to go back work tomorrow. But am looking forward to it since I cleared most of the backlog items I owe Motorola and JHT. Also had the time today to clear my endless stack of paperwork. So should be quite free tomorrow....I hope.

K, goin catch on my beauty sleep. Nitey!!!!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 10/17/2004 11:20:00 PM

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Saturday, October 16, 2004

Super OT...

Yep!!! No joke...I am still in the office. Apparently, has been a real hectic week. With a gezillion things to do. Rushed all ard the production today. Thus, now am settling all my paper work.

Muz be thinking I am mad to work till this hour. Actually not realli. Pretty comfortable in the offic. Juz missing of a bed...Hmmm... prob come out with a USMS. Hahaha!!!

Anyway, juz taking 5mins break. So might as well blog. Ok, need go back to checking my cast films. Good nite!!!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 10/16/2004 01:44:00 AM

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Thursday, October 14, 2004

Brink Of Falling Apart

Apparently the last time I ever remembered feeling a bit like this was when I was in army. Was under Gun Section. Was repairing those bloody Oelikron buffers. No matter how u repair them, in the end, they still fail the QC check.

Lastly, threw them aside and came back the next day to continue. Settled them anyway. Still remembered veri clearly Andrew & me were so despair that we wanted to throw the whole buffer into the drain. Anyway, fond memories...

Yesterday and today brought back similar feelings... in fact in folds!!! Totally dragged apart by my clients, production n bosses. Totally lost control of the whole situation. Juz dunno where to even start on the matter. The roots of all the problems juz seem to unearth from every part of the ground, with size as enormous as the pile of 6809480A72 manuals stack one above each other. Totally despaired till juz sat down on the floor and cried. The whole situation was so bad, so stressful till I thought I told I lost it.

Realli scare everyone... at least manage to grab hold of myself again. Today came again... n the situation was even more hectic. Sometimes I realli wonder how am I goin to survive this for the next few months or so.

Had a great heart talk with my Haiying-jie over the phone later last nite n she shared the same sentiments as me. However, her stress was from the side of Motorola. Apparently her stress came when she is under the control of 5 bosses, with 5 different instructions. Realli goin to miss her alot if she is going to quit next month. She has realli been there for me, helping me a lot in my work. Realli appreciated her being there, always sparing a thought for me. Thank you, Haiying-jie!!!

Anyway, am realli scare to seeing tomorrow again. Realli realli afraid things goin out of control. Wat to do, I still dunno. At least my bosses are still there for me, taking great care of me. Even with so many mistakes, they are still patient n guide me thru all. Appreciate all their help.

Though I learn from the hard way, at least I learn... I hope.

Ok, realli tired... want to juz go home n take a rest b4 the war starts again.

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 10/14/2004 11:10:00 PM

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Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Puking

I am listening to opera music played by my bosses's radio in the office at THIS HOUR!!!

Bloody creepy!!!!

Hahaha!!!!

K, goin home...else I will go deaf...

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 10/12/2004 11:57:00 PM

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Monday, October 11, 2004

Home Early

So happy today.... at last the first time in dunno how long did I get to see the sun when I go home today. Yep!!! Took half day off today, though I still stay till almost 3pm to complete those silly reports. At least I manage to finish them in record time. Hahaha!!!!

Took the opportunity to actually start upgrading n personalizing my new PC. Actually the main personalizing should realli come after I apply for cable which I am have totally no idea where even to being. Guess schedule is the problem... Hmmm....

Anyway, since now my PC (upgraded it again to a 160G harddisk and 1G ram) is installing itself, might as well make use of my old PC to blog. Still old is nice, but new is powerful!!!! Juz imagine I am able to watch and record my fave TV shows direct on my PC. No more miss to CHARMED!!!!! Plus able to listen to radio and MP3 with digital surround sound. Man!!! Guess my this system is realli a black pearl in disguise.

Anyway, still am pretty proud of myself for buying a PC totally on my own. Hehehe!!! Guess this is independence...a small step.

Anyway, did spoil myself a lot recently with a lot of outings, spending, eating, movies esp SHOPPING!!!! U ppl will not believe what I have invested recently. Dun realli wanna list them all out as it will onli make me look pretty bad. Hehehe!!!! Actually I noe I am. Time to reflect.

Funny to say, I am still saving and able to help up ard the house. Happy happy....

Hmmm.... ok, dun wanna waste too much time blogging. Got better things to do then this. Wrote this entry juz in order not to let my blogspace grow mould, which I think has already a thick layer.

Ok, so long for now....

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 10/11/2004 07:16:00 PM

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Thursday, October 07, 2004

In The Late Of Nite

Pls dun ask me wat time is it now. Juz look at it for urself.
I am not home...realli...not joking...I am still in the office...WORKING!!!!!

Apparently my bosses are working...contacting a client from USA. Sometimes I am realli wondering how much am I drawing for this type of job...OH DEAR!!!!

I have realli nothing to say but juz to help up and wait...juz pray my bosses will allow us the morning off and start work in the noon. Else there is realli nothing to sleep.
Reach home bath...before my head touch the pillow, my alarm will start ringing its head off.

OH DEAR!!!! My bed misses me soooooooo muchhhhhh!!!!!! I wanttttttt toooooo slllleeeeeeeeppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 10/07/2004 01:50:00 AM

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Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Dunno wat title to put today. Juz super stress up today. Keep trying to expediting items out of my production and not in my daily constraint. In other words, drop in orders or pulled forward items. Totally shagged!!!

Not to complain as I was not in the production rushing those items, but being the intelligence of the whole bloody operation was even worse. Being chase till the ass by my clients, my bosses had even to add on to the stress by pulling me here, pulling me there for matters out of my jobscope. Not that I am unwilling to help, but when I am more available. Anyway, guess all is over. BYGONES!!!!

Suddenly realise a fact... a total dreadful fact...Everyone in the company had vent their anger on me before...even down to the lowest aunties & uncles. As for me, I realli wonder when did I ever raise my voice on anyone. Juz trying my best, always letting have their way since they are working unless forced by my bosses or clients. Am I that easy to bully??? It is juz not fair! Wat should I do? Sigh!!!!

Realli veri tired now. Production now is still way behind schedule due to the number of drop ins and expediting items. And how do they expect to plan well with all these interruptions. Even till now the bloody phone is ringing with orders...Dun they noe wat is NITE!!! Doesn't mean they dun sleep that I gotta follow them. Besides they are running on 3 shifts!?!?! I am onli ONE!!! How to compare that???

Seems like I am realli detesting my work as the time goes by. Actually it is not the fact. Juz anger n frustration words due to the fatigue setting in from endless rows of nite of not enough slp. Wat to do???

Dear Diary,
My career is on the fast track, I'm wildly needed and the money is pretty damn good. What should I do?

Reply: Stop whining!?!?!

Damn, I am good!!! Hahaha!!!!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 10/06/2004 09:22:00 PM

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Monday, October 04, 2004

Time Lack

Ever since I start working, juz feel time past so fast till I dun realli seem to quite recall wat had juz past. Seems like last week since I start working and it has been 3 mth since I am on tis job.

Was thinking I could not survive the endless OTs and permanent job stress, ended up I became so fluent in my jobscope that it seems I am able to handle all the hurdles. Quite proud of myself till a certain extent.

So proud of myself is that finally I am able to save up yet!!!!! spend on things which I have been looking forward so much to buy. First a new wardrobe, then a new PC, now recently juz got a MP3 player. Am thinking of investing in a new HP soon n apply for a new interenet line.

Even so much of expenditure, I am still able to pamper myself with outings. Not saying I have much outings, but made use of every little bit of time. Looking back the last weekend, I hardly spend more than 6hours at home. Went out for movies, shopping, coffee blah!!!! Imagine dining in at class restuarants (actually quite sick of them now), shopping at branded boutiques blah... n still being able to save up... is realli a dream come true.

Not that I am earning big bucks or wat, juz enough to b independent. Had even excess to help up with the household expenses. Guess now I am realli happy for myself.

Juz one slight regret...not being able to stay home long enough. Hmmm... juz pray I can find more time at home. In fact, I am so bloody tired now from last nite's lack of sleep. Guess I better finish up my work and head for home.

Yep!!! Cab again...another accomplishment of travelling by cab then squeezing on the MRT. Find it funny, but I rather travel by bus than on train. Guess I am pretty weird. Hahaha!!!

Ok, need to log off now. Shall update my movie columns when I am more free. Realli hard to find time. Time is an essence!!!!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 10/04/2004 08:27:00 PM

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