Matthew Goh I am...
Am Chinese Christian with a dying dialect, Foochow.
Evolved into 11 this April.
However,known to be 25 for legal reasons.
Am a Taurean from the 1997 batch of babies.
Born 27/04/1997 @ 0524hrs almost into a toilet bowl.
Thank God, brought 2 life in Toa Payoh Hospital.
Love making friends, but have juz a few close ones.
Am an out of the closet gay guy .
Looking around and still single.
ORDed on 26/06/2004.
As for now, am a Customer Service Officer for FarEastFlora.com.
Top it all up, am too a student in SHATEC.
Realli got too many hobbies 2 name.

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Cheng San Kindergarten School
1988 - 1989

Da Qiao Primary School (P1-2, 2-2, 3-2, 4-3, 5-3, 6-2)
1990 - 1995

Ang Mo Kio Secondary School (Sec 1/3, 2/3, 3/3, 4/3)
1996 - 1999

Nanyang Junior College (OG 23, 1 CT 24, 1 CT 18, 2 CT 18)
2000 - 2001

Tekong BMTC School 2, Orion Coy, Platoon 3, Section 2, Bed 6
27th Dec 2001 - 16th Feb 2002

Ayer Rajar Camp, Ordnance Engineering And Training Institute, Electronics And Weapons Training Wing, Small Arms BTT 5
8 Feb 2002 - 4th May 2002

Nee Soon Driclad Centre, 6 Direct Support Maintenance Base, Armament Coy, Small Arms Platoon
6th May 2002 - 26th Jun 2004

Tristellar Enterprise, Sales & Logistics Coordinator AKA Account Manager
7th Jul 2004 - 5th Sep 2006

FarEastFlora.com Pte Ltd, Customer Service Officer
19th Sep 2006 -

SHATEC, Hotel Management, DHM408B
07th Apr 2008 -

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Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Opps! There I Go Again  
Today, New Year Eve. Allowed to work half day. Pretty glad. Also pretty sad. Am on CDO duty today. My co-partner, Fang Sheng. Anyway, did not do much. Just touch up on a few weapons and close shop.

Went out lunch with BK, Elvin, Andrew, Daniel, Wenshan, Jon and Ka Lueng at Yishun Northpoint. Though just a short lunch at KFC, is a good way to end the year with my colleagues at work. So now at home, decide to do an early blog entry today. Supposed to meet up with my batch of good friends at 2, but let them go shop first. I'll meet them later.

Feeling sad is that I just fell down once again. Yah, that���s the second time I fell down since the opening of my blog. Don't understand why. Told you all I'm really down on my luck. Did not want to spoil everyone's mood as usual, so put up with it. Glad the whole lunch thing went well. Now I'm feeling pretty sore.

Also found out I need to go down this Saturday to 9DSMB for range meeting. Find it really a waste of time. Don't understand how army functions at times. Sigh! Am also feeling sore for tomorrow's duty. So guess there will be no update for tomorrow's blog unless if I can access online with my PDA. Try it later.

Ok, let me start my recollections for this year. Has been a really busy year for me. Start all the way since early February. Had not a chance to really relax. All started with COC parade for CDF & COA. Then down with an attachment to OCS. Next, down for NDP parade. After that, down with PRIDE Day & COC for CMEO. Continuing after that, immediately down with parade for COC of CO. Not to mention all the small arrows in between which is countless. Feel like a buffalo being pulled across the padi field, toiling and sweating under the scorching sun. Really totally worn out.

Come to say of it, looking on the brighter side, I've really gain a lot of experiences in many fields. Also glad I met a lot of people on the way. My COC parade brother, Mark Chan from GSMB, my NDP brother, Donald Tan from Transport plus the many big shots I met throughout my tour. Not to fail mention, also gained a very close buddy (makes me feel like a big brother to him.), Jonathan Chen, and a lot of great friends like Kevin, Kenny, Fangsheng, Han, Vijay, Wee Siong etc. Am really glad. Still also happy another year has past and I am still together with my Niu Lang, Peici and Chaowei. Coming into the 4th Anniversary of our family bond. Hahaha!

So come to say, not bad for this year, not forgetting the cost behind them. Yet still disappointed in the sense, not yet found a life partner nor one who completely understands me. Let's see how the New Year comes to bring for me. (Though I am not starting on a very good year with guard duty and range.) New Year resolutions, just hope to gain more closer friends. Can say only have 3 1/2 close friends. Know it is a weird figure. But am working on one. Hahaha! Also hope, after hope God will show me the route to walk after I ORD, else am feeling very lost. Don't want ask too much, least will not be so disappointed.

Ok, shall end here for this year. Might add some more tonight if I come home in time. Ok, all friends and family out there, HAPPY NEW YEAR & BLESSINGS BE WITH YOU ALL. STAY IN CLOSE CONTACT.

Signing off the old year,
Matthew Goh Siew Hock

And a song for the closing, Mariah Carey's, Looking In.

You look at me and see the girl
Who lives inside the golden world
But don't believe
That's all there is to see
You'll never know the real me

She smiles through a thousand tears
And harbours adolescent fears
She dreams of all
That she can never be
She wades in insecurity yeah
And hides herself inside of me

Don't say she takes it all for granted
I'm well aware of all I have
Don't think that I am disenchanted
Please understand

It seems as though I've always been
Somebody outside looking in
Well, here I am for all of them to bleed
But they can't take my heart from me
And they can't bring me to my knees
They'll never know the real me


11:08 PM
Yah, sorry to burst your bubbles, I am back home. Still have some time before I turn in to bed and bring in the new year. Just a brief description on how I pass my old year with my best group of family.

Met them at Suntec. Went out to the movies together with them. Hahaha! Was feeling it was a bit waste of money. Watched Scary Movie 3. Totally cocky and nonsensical. Hahaha! But guess the time together was great. Still feel the money was well spend to a certain extent. Anyway, was strolling along Marina and Suntec. Spotted a few familiar faces like Yiming and Wild Boar. Actually was planning to party thru the nite with another group of pals, on second thought, had better not due to tomorrow's guard duty. Heard is a pretty garang DO, so better keep alert.

So much for the last minute update. Guess I am still pretty sad about the recent events. My resolution still stands on matter what. Will work towards that next year. Ok, really going to end here. Hey all out there, HAPPY NEW YEAR and all your dreams come true! Don't forget me k?

Final bidding off into the new year,
Matthew Goh Siew Hock

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/31/2003 01:34:00 PM

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Tuesday, December 30, 2003

I Feel Pretty 
Today decided to try something different from previous blog entries. Decided to type it into my PDA first before entering it online. This way, not only I save electricity, also get to do it on the comforts of my bed. Hahaha! Can see I am a very lazy boy. Thank you. Ok, enough of the intro. Let me get to the main body.

Had a fine day today. Morning was fine. MSG Sivan is on leave today, so left the section to me to be in charge. THANK GOD many DOM spares came today, allowing me to utilize all our men. Else, will feel so guilty asking them to provide strength for the sai kang party.

Noon, went outstation to Suntec City to collect my spectacles. Yah, that's why I feel vain. Actually, it is just a normal spectacles. Can't really afford a more expensive one as it is already at the high end. Blame it on my lens which cost $280 alone. The only thing special is the clip on sunglasses which I DEFINITELY not use in camp. Look like a SICK PSYCHO walking around in shades.

Anyway, also went home to get my passport photo for later submission to my clerk for a new camp pass. Not before lunching at Burger King with Kevin & Da Loh. Also packet away 2 more meals for camp later.

Got back to camp just in time for packing up for the monthly safety briefing held in the mess. Yes, the meals are for keeping me awake during this boring session. Hahaha!

Anyway, glad things went smoothly and soon back down to the workshop. Now here comes the bad news. Realize from my section mate (opps! I forgot whom.) that the 2 GPMGs which my section did component repair for in the morning and on the whole, another 8 tripods which was rejected by me for MR(Malfunction Report) problems was going to come back again tomorrow. Why? This 3rd Guards armorer IC actually called this BLOODY KU BY to pressure my section to accept the weapons. Without even consulting my section, he agreed. BLOODY SHIT!!! Sure he says can la! It is not he who is going to repair the weapon. On the whole, there is NO BASE LEVEL FAULT for those weapons. Plus a lot of deficiency spares. The only reason they are pushing the weapons to us is to escape their coming LRI on Monday. SHITTY UNIT!!!

Another de-stressing thing is that I received notice that I need to stay in for the upcoming range. The main thing is that I do not even know what to bring (I am the Safety Specialist; thus the equipment I bring is different.). On the whole, I don't even know where to store my barang as I have to move off very early those days, thus the locker rooms are not open. Just find this range is so unplanned for. Everything is all in a mess.

Now, also facing another dilemma on the meeting up with my batch of family tomorrow. Same problem as before, no proper planning. Sigh!

So many problems. Guess I really ought to relax a bit. Hahaha! Am always saying this but not doing it. Am not of the type of character who sits aside and eat bong bongs and watch a problem die or grow. That is just not the Matthew you all know. Yet, I still feel so f***ed up.

Also don't understand why my mum is complaining so much a glasses which I am wearing. What my glasses so heavy, don't have this, don't have that blah! Already so stress at work, she still adding on to my burden at home. Just pay her back the moment I receive my next month's pay.

Ok, don't want spoil my mood further. Going to go online soon. So end here with a song related with my blog title. Adopted from the play, West Side Story . Enjoy I Feel Pretty! Nitey!

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

GIRLS
Have you met my good friend Maria,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her,
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.

She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.

It must be the heat
Or some rare disease,
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it's fleas.

Keep away from her,
Send for Chino!
This is not the
Maria we know!

Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!

MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.

GIRLS
La la la la . . .

MARIA
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!

GIRLS
La la la la . . .

MARIA
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:

GIRLS
What mirror where?

MARIA
Who can that attractive girl be?

GIRLS
Which? What? Where? Whom?

MARIA
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

GIRLS
Such a pretty me!

ALL
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/30/2003 10:08:00 PM

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Monday, December 29, 2003

Back To Work At Last 
Yah, you all did not heard wrong. Back to work, and am glad about it. Really spend too much money playing and time at home. Think I am really sick. Don't understand how people can complain of no work. Hahaha! I am one!

Anyway, had lunch with Chaowei first before going back to camp. Had been a long while since I spend time alone with my brother. Wasn't an expensive lunch, but spending time chatting over lunch was really enjoying.

So back to work. Glad I had not missed out much. The place still looks great to me. Very happy. Anyway, had to settle all the accounts stuff. So much money transactions. A bit worried if I should lose my wallet. But still incomplete, cause MSG Tan & CPT Don are both on leave. Just keep their money at home first.

Seems quite a few weapons came in during my absence. Not too much. Enough to keep everyone in my section with something to do. At least tomorrow task assigning should not be a problem. Oh yah, MSG Sivan will be on leave tomorrow. So guess I must take charge. Also glad tomorrow section will have less people due to some of the members down for technical handling test for range.

Speaking of which, also asked to become the safety specialist for this upcoming range. Once again, back to my usual garang self again. Sigh! Will tell you all more when the range approaches nearer. Held next Monday till Wednesday. SIGH!

Ok, going to add quite a few "tidbits" today. So make it short tonight. Update more tomorrow. Nitey!

First tidbit I'm going add is a mail horoscope I got in the mail a while ago. Just find the pig very cute, so post it here. Whether it is true, let you all readers out there judge.



Lastly, as promised, shall add a description of my sister. Enjoy!!!

My Thoughts Of Lee Pei Ci
She is a really really great sister, friend, shoulder to lean upon blah!

Knew her the same time I gotta know my Niu Lang. Why? Due to the fact we were all from the same Orientation Group. Difference is that we were split up after the formation of or Civics Tutor Classes. Nevertheless, we remained in very close contact till this day.

Will always remember the fun times we shared during the JC days. How went for lectures together, going for Air Rifle Practices (we were in the same CCA.) and many other things. Went out after school together for bowling sessions, gate-crashing HCJC to look for eVeLyN and best of which, meet up at a nearby Soya Bean shop and talk cock. We, this group of family were totally inseparatable.

So much so for the many rumors around the school revolving around she and I, we still remained as best of sister and brother. Cherish the bond we share. As like all rumors, they soon die.

She is a very bubbly girl, not afraid of what people comments about her as long she thinks she is right. Very very thick skin too especially when it comes to good comments on her bEaUtY. Hahaha! But guess her beauty comes from her inside, her innocent character, which is almost quite corrupted from the day she met Niu Lang, Chaowei and me. Hahaha!

She can be very obsessive when it comes to studies. She would camp home for few weeks to study, burning rows of nightless midnights to catch up on her books. Even I must bow down to her for her perseverance and endurance. At least it was worth it as she reap what she sowed.

She is a pretty simple girl who wants a simple life. Presents like push toys, bags are enough for her. Make me feel so guilty for being such a bad brother. Only buying her these. Must come up something fresh. One thing to note, SHE IS A FASHION BLUNDER. A MADEMOISELLE DON'T!!! Fave outfits, T-shirt, Shorts and Slippers. No matter an occasion, her fashion sense never fails to make a dramatic effect.

One last thing I must not fail to mention is her favourite "martial skill" which she likes to use on her brothers. Icy Palms is what we called it. Hahaha! Why? Cause she got sweaty palms. Probably I took notice of her then. But got use to it.

Ok, shall end here cause there is still much to talk about her. Words alone can't describe her. You really got to know her to know her better. A pleasant soul to talk and have in one's life. But guys out there, you can forget ALL DESIGNS ON HER!!!! She is attached. Unless you want get beaten up by her "ITALY BOYFRIEND", you all can try going for her. Sister! An honor to know you!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/29/2003 08:46:00 PM

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Sunday, December 28, 2003

I'm An Egyptian Prince! 
Hahaha! Sounds stupid huh??? Guess what??? Went for my first manicure session. Actually it is free!!! All thanks to my aunt. Just look at the shine on my nails! There is very noticeable difference. Trust me!!! Hahaha! The feeling is also different. Should learn to pamper myself more often. Just realize my past few personal manicures had a few faults. Cool! Now anyone out there want manicure tips, look for ME!!! VOILA!!! PERFECT NAILS!!! Hahaha! Still can't stop admiring them.

No, I did not just sit around looking at my nails whole day. Bake a few brownies too for Elvin today. Just don't know how much to charge him. Can't be too cheap else I will be broke. (I am already quite broke in the sense on the bulk from the spectacles.) Can't be too expensive also. He is a really good friend. Sigh! Let my mum decide for me.

Ok, better make this blog today a quick one. Will be going to church today. And yes, I AM GOING CHURCH! Hahaha! There is a meaning behind it. Though I feel pretty lazy to get out of the house. But am looking forward to stepping into church after 1 month's absence from it. Also wonder if Siew Shin is going or not. Have lots to catch up with him.

Alright, shall stop here for today. Should anything happen at night, probably update tonight or tomorrow morning (am still on leave then) when I have the time. For now, I go prepare myself for church, and maybe, start researching how to improve myself sartorially. I still like my nails. HAHAHA!!!! Vain, I know! I AM!!! Ciaozzz!!!


10:45 PM
Yah! I am bored now. So decided to extend my blog a bit today. After so many long blogs, do see why today's one must be so short. Also a bit stress from the ex-dad's return again. So might as well hide in my room and talk to this dumb PC. But say the truth, I really dunno what to write. So just add something from my mail I received days ago. Hahaha! Interesting facts. Enjoy and nitey!

1. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

2. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. I keep my toothbrush in the living room now.

3. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.

4. No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

5. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

6. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

7. Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

8. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

9. The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

10. A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight. The wingspan of the B-36, a retired USAF bomber, was twice as long.

11. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each
salad served in first class.

12. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

13. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

14. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

15. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

16. The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first 'Marlboro Man'.

17. Barbie's full first name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

18. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

19. Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

20. All U.S. presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like to be seen wearing them in public.

21. Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

22. Pearls melt in vinegar.

23. It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

24. The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

25. Turtles can breathe through their butts.

Ok, interesting huh? Shall end here tonight. Going to think of what to add for tomorrow blog. Prob a thought of my sister, Lee Peici. See first.

Wait, just before I end. Would like to reply something. Should have reply earlier. Now shouldn't be too late.

To tHe PeRsOn reading this, TRUE friendship is INDEED hard to find. You really gotta cherish it. Finding out your weakness now is still not too late. You can still make amends and turn this weakness into a greater strength. As the cliche goes, failure is the stepping stone to success, is very true. Comments are good. Analyse them before saying. I will always appreciate it, but look at the situation at times. Anyway, I believe there is possibility that you can be a greater friend, that's why I using my guts to tell you. Even I know there will be a lot of misunderstanding among others. Will still cherish the bond we hold. Glad you can take it. Show you at least you are not that big-headed as you think. Don't worry, if you are looking for a shoulder in future, mine will be there. (sorry if it is a bit too bony; malnutrition.) You just take care. And no matter what, I will stand by you, as how I stand by for any of my friends, k?

To all else out there, give this person a chance alright??? To err is to be human. At least he is willingly to change. Least he is not like some BLOODY POLICEMAN. (dun think it is a good comparision; my meaning is there.) Don't need me to spell it out anymore. Forgiveness is good for the soul. Ok, end here. Nitey!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/28/2003 03:53:00 PM

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Saturday, December 27, 2003

And It Came Back In 10 Folds 
Yesterday whole day don't understand why I can't seem to log on to my blog. Looks like this bloggy thingy is coming out with its same pattern again. Totally shitty!!! Anyway, I decide to backdate a bit from yesterday.

Woke up at 6am yesterday. Dunno why. Probably due to the auto-body alarm clock. Hahaha!!! By then was running a fever. Took 2 panadols and went back to sleep. On waking up, found out that I lost my voice too. So shitty! Also got the bloody sniffles.

Had to blame it on myself. Got a fever and cough recently last week. But got well already. Probably due to too much work and stress, add on with the troubles and worries, body resistance is really at the lowest. So now, they are back ten fold and I'm really ill. Probably caught the flu bug few days ago when I am at the movies on Christmas eve. That's when the slight sniffles came. Dunno. Anyway, really hope to get well soon.

At present, I already got rid of my sniffles yesterday noon with the remedy from my mum. But, I totally lose my voice. Was suppose to go out with Tai, Yap, Justin, Bee Ling and Shirley for karaoke session last night, but won't it be bloody moronic to go without voice??? Hahaha!!! So decided to stay home.

Who knows, Jon have to call me out to chat and coffee in the city with Kevin and Wee Siong. Thot this would be better than to rot at home. Besides, at least I can chat with pen and paper. Would be BLOODY MORONIC to go karaoke and sing with pen and paper right? What will they think I am doing? Copying lyrics when it is played on the screen? SIAO!!! Hahaha!

Anyway, really enjoy the "I write, they talk" session down at Starbucks at the Paragon. Still like this place very much where I get all my Christmas and New Year clothes. Give me the feeling I am very rich. When I am not actually. Not millionaire rich lah, of course. Yah, bought a top and suit here just last week with the aid of my aunt. Hehe! The things here are top grade stuff. Better not say how much they cost. Figures are very scary!

Yah, back to topic. We chatted mainly on the topic of Friends. Dun want give details as the topic contains pretty sensitive issues. But really comical on how Wee Siong keeps making the conversation into a debate and a poem. And this Kevin, everything also try make comments. Just can't help but laugh at their words.(I can still laugh. Thank you very much!) As for me, can't say anything, just shut up and stay neutral. Hahaha! Feel like I want to say so much, just no voice. Shit! Must get well soon. Anyway, think that give us whole night, we can still be chatting. My my! Guys can really talk too.

So got home pretty late about midnight. At least I do not need to work today. Can spend time at home settle my domestic stuff. Also recuperate my health. Think I really neglected it a lot. Must boost myself.

On the whole, really feeling terrible of not being able to talk. Feel so bloody helpless. Even resort to pen and paper. Phone calls definitely a no-no. At least there was such thing as SMS. Hahaha! Come to think of it, many people have been ill recently. Wonder is there any connection between all of them with mine??? Nah! Forget it.

Alright, shall stop updating already. Dun think much will happen later in the day. But if there is, will add on later at night. For now, shall end here. Say the true, think I can hear some of my voice now. Just still not very clear. Think I'll try my mum's remedy of lemon and honey. Cya and good day.

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/27/2003 12:24:00 PM

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Thursday, December 25, 2003

Ho! Ho! Ho!  
My entry today looks very nice right? Just trying to get into the season. Yah! Today is Christmas Day! As usual, I would always hibernate at home on the actual festive days. Why? Don't really like the thought of becoming a human sardine. Hehe! Rather party the night before or after. Which I must say, I am on leave tomorrow! So, bring on the clowns!

Anyway, able to stay at home and rot today. After so long, really miss this cozy, homely feeling. Had the time to actually reorganize all my Charmed tapes and my room. Realised there is so much junk lying around. Guess now my room looks very much neater. Just wonder how long this will last. Anyway, also found time to bake biscuits. Yah, biscuits not cookies. Difference is that biscuits are drier. They are more buttery and brittle in texture. The dough is more firm and easily shaped. Cookies on the other hand are moist and more to give the "melt in the mouth" feeling. The dough is more starchy and usually is shaped by dropping teaspoonful of dough on the tray. Now, you all know what is the difference between cookies and biscuits. Anyway, made some Walnut Biscuits today. Taste pretty well. Just the appearance SUCKS! Guess I do not have the proper cutters. Never mind, I'll improve in time.

Guess I've not much to write today since I'm only al home. So update my blog early today while start to wait for the arrival of mum tonight. Glad my mum is back. But still something tells me she is not going to be too happy about my new spectacles. Sigh! Never mind. Will stay happy regardless of what. Don't want to spend a Christmas with problems nor worries. Ok, end here now. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! & GOD BLESS YOU! MAY THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON TOUCH EVERY OF YOUR HEARTS!!!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/25/2003 05:51:00 PM

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Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Lord Of The Rings 3B 
Huh??? 3B??? Am I mad? Hahaha! Nope! I am absolutely fine. Just going to watch it again, but this time with my Niu Lang, Peici and Chaowei. Guess I am a bit too rich. Actually I promised to watch it with them, so think I better hold on to that promise and watch it with them. But I am cleverer this time. Bring thicker clothes and STRICTLY NO WATER 2HOURS BEFORE THE SHOW. Sounds dramatic huh??? Never mind! Prevention is still better. Let's see how it works out later.

Today had a really great sleep. Actually slept till 9am. Really refreshed. But got a real shock of my life when I looked into my HP. Left it online for the whole nite! Yah! I was connected on ICQ for the whole freaking nite! HP bill die! Just pray hard now. Not going let it affect me. Guess I am feeling less stressed up as I am going to be on leave till Monday. So now can concentrate on other problems rather than juggling it with work too.

One problem I am facing is family problems. Still with the whole ex-father thingy. Just how to expect me to move on if he just keep appearing in my life.

The main problem lies within the shadow of my past actions. Really regret of what I did. However, guess it is all coming back now. Can't really turn back now. It is definitely not a small trivial matter. It is not hormones raging. But too dangerous to reveal it now. But can say it occurs during the darkest times of my life, during the JC years. Just say I hope I am able to find a win-win solution to this. Else, blood will be spilled, lives will be lost. Serious huh? Never mind. If there is one thing I learn from all recent happenings (Be it from work with the events with Neil, be it from family with the events with the ex-dad etc.), everything that I do, I must answer and face it myself. No one can do it FOR me. In my situation, not even others are to do it WITH me. Ok, don't want overshare.

Must prepare to go out soon. Will update more when I come home later. Good dayzzz!!!

11:35:00 PM
Hi! Ya, I am back. When out with Niu Lang n the family to watch Lord Of The Rings. Realised a lot of things. I also got the story much clearer now. Manage to pay attention to more details. But still same comment. The ending is draggy. After 7 false alarms, it finally ended. Once was Frodo and Sam got stranded on the rocks. But the screen came back to the eagles saving them. Thought it was going to end, it zoomed back into Frodo's bed. Then once again, into the crowning of Aragorn, again when the hobbits riding back into their homeland. So much of waiting, it again entered into the scene Frodo updating the diary. Then into the departure of Frodo and a few others on a ship. FINALLY, it ended with Sam entering his house with his family. My my!!! Took literally 20mins. Haha!

Happy to say, my masterplan worked. Did not have the urge to go to the loo throughout the whole show. Had dinner without niu lang at Suntec Foodcourt. Partly due to the fact I am bloody broke. Just bought a pair of new spectacles from Spectacles Hut. $370.00 Wondering how to tell my mum about it. Sigh! Just tell my mum I fork out $170, my friends fork out $100 while she comes out with the rest. Not too shabby lie I hope. Sigh! Hope I am able to get lunch out on Tuesday to collect my spectacles from Suntec.

Ok, end like that here today. Like to enjoy Christmas without my PC. Anyway, thanks Niu Lang for the wonderful present. Direct "air flown" from Taiwan, a movie poster of Speed. My favourite show (watched it like 36 times) and my favourite idol, KEANU CHARLES REEVES!!!! Hahaha! Ok, really ending here with a mail. Got it very long ago from MSG Sivan. But only have time to open it today. Just some advice which I find very relevant in life. Like to share it with all out there. Bolded all those which I find it relevant. Ok, end here. Nitey! Also MERRY CHRISTMAS, be-early a bit.

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze. (Though I always say "GOD BLAST U" instead.)
16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21. Spend some time alone.

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/24/2003 12:03:00 PM

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Tuesday, December 23, 2003

One Down, One More To Go 
A great day for me. Let's not talk totally on how hectic the work was today for the moment. Remember about the Neil incident in my yesterday's blog? Alright, the verdict is out. THEY ARE GOING TO RE-VOCATE HIM!!! Man! Don't need to waste anymore time or effort with all the blood-vomiting, saliva-wasting and life-sucking lessons with that Neil. At least MSG Sivan, Seow Ping-Jie and me do not need in future to send anymore of our section to their deaths.

My! My! God has given us the BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT!!! Now he is officially under the care of the CSM. Till his new vocation is ready, he will help do all the shit work, guard stand-in and COS duty stand-in. and to think he actually thinks it is freedom to him. If it is true, good luck to him. 6DSMB is really a unit which I say is BLOODY LENIENT! Even the working society is not so forgiving. However, it got nothing to do with me anymore. From today, one pest out of my life!!! He had better not let me see him enter into my section's stuff or I'll make him regret so much, he wish he hadn't been born.

Anyway, CPT Don has already planted a trap for him tomorrow. Apparently, he is the COS for tomorrow. Since the whole workshop is not coming back tomorrow, CPT Don is already expecting him not to open the workshop. As for CPT Don, he is going back for meeting. So, he is already standby-ing to throw a confinement down onto Neil for poor COS performance. Good plan? Never mind, let time tell.

So much for Neil, had a hectic day for myself today. Had to arrive in camp early for the day. Was the conducting specialist for the IPPT conducted today. All went very well. Really happy that Fangsheng actually made it through, but felt a bit wasted as he could not clinch a silver due to a poor 2.4km timing. Anyway, the whole team of IPPT conductors and takers proceeded with the company breakfast, or should I say what was left of it. (the company started eating first as they were not involved in IPPT.) Though lesser people, we had a great time eating roti prata with coffee and tea. Hard to believe all added up to $156.00. WOAH!!!! Wonder what the prata was made of. Hahaha!

Also had to type out a few statement of accounts, fax a few part catalogues etc. for the day. Mainly all was on administrative work. Something which I so hate to do. Manage to settle all of them anyway.

Fell out at 4pm today as we have to be down at Tanjong Pagar by 6pm. Co-organizing this event with me was Da-Loh. Arranged the dinner to be held at Lagun Sari Indonesian Restaurant. The food was pretty tasty to a certain extent. (I am sorry as my taste for food is very spoilt and very critic. Believe this is due to the fact of one's ability to cook.) Met a lot of my "about to ORD upperstudies". Anyway, the ambience in the restaurant was enough to fill my stomach. Had a really great time! Was pretty surprised to see that there was actually a large excess of money collected. The total bill cost only $1142.66. Not bad for a group of 60 people. Hahaha! Was supposed to head down to karaoke with one group of friends, however, family problems again, so decide to go home early. Pretty disappointed. Anyway, just hope that I'll be able to join another group this Friday.

Yah, THAT GUY came back, but just to grab some of his stuff and he is off! Thank God! So now, think my blog is long already. End here tonight like that. Probably with a song from Josh Groban. A song which really touches my heart though of its very sad lyrics. Nope, got nothing connected with me. Just the melody speaks the mood of my heart. A sad and long broken heart by many. Trying to find back his route. Am still searching. Hey! I may seem pretty cheerful still, I am still very sad deep inside. Just don't want to show it out. Ok, oversharing for the moment. Will say it when the time is ripe. For now, enjoy! Added the translation beside. Nitey!

Si Volvieras A Mi
Como sobrevivir? [To survive?]
Como calmar mi sed? [To calm my thirst?]
Como seguir sin ti? [To go on with out you?]
Como saltar sin red? [To jump with out a net?]
Con ese adios tan salvaje y cruel [With that goodbye so salvage and cruel]
Me desojaste la piel [You undressed my skin]
La enternidad en final se quedo [There is no eternity]
Y un desierto es mi corazon [and my heart is a desert]

Ay, si volvieras a mi [Oh, if you would return to me]
Encenderia el sol mil primaveras [The sun would light up a thousand Springs]
Si regresaras por mi [If you would return for me]
Seria un milagro cada beso que me dieras [It would be a miracle, every kiss you would give me]
Pero hoy te vas [but today, you leave]
Y no hay vuelta atras [and there is no turning back]

Que habra despues de ti? [What is there after you?]
Mas que estas lagrimas [More than these tears]
Si hasta la lluvia en el jardin [Even in the rain in the garden]
Toca musica sin fin [Endless music plays]
Sombria y tragica [Shadows and Fall]
Hoy de rodillas le pido adios [Today, on my knees, I say goodbye]
Que por el bien de los dos [For the good of both of us]
Algo en tu pecho se quiebra al oir [Sound of Something in your chest breaking]
A este loco que se muere de amor [To this fool, who is dies of love]

Ay, si volvieras a mi [Oh, if you would return to me]
Encenderia el sol mil primaveras [The sun would light up a thousand Springs]
Si regresaras por mi [If you would return for me]
Seria un milagro cada beso que me dieras [It would be a miracle, every kiss you would give me]
Pero hoy te vas [but today, you leave]
Y no hay vuelta atras [and there is no turning back]

Y desataste un huracan [you freed a hurricane]
Fuego y furia de un volcan [The Fire and fury of a volcano]
Que no se apagar [That won't turn off]
Como olvido que fui [Like the wine that I was]
Esclavo de ti [Your slave]
Ya no puedo mas [I can't anymore]

Ay, si volvieras a mi [Oh, if you would return to me]
Vida ay si volvieras [My life, oh, if you'd return]
Si regresaras por mi [If you'd return for me]
Seria feliz otra vez [I would be happy again]
Pero hoy te vas [But today, you leave]
Y no hay vuelta atras [And no turning back]

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/23/2003 09:57:00 PM

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Monday, December 22, 2003

The End Is Always The Best! 
Thought today was going to be a very very boring day. Man! I am bloody wrong! The ending part of the day must always hit me with such a BIG surprise. Hahaha!

Work was pretty slack today if not for the MSG Simon Chia. He and his GPMG battalion, never fail to surprise me. My top most hated customer. So high of a rank, yet can't seem to work. SHIT GUY!!! First time I saw today a GPMG with 10 rivets loose, 3 rivets worn out being sent in for component. Almost all the rivets are down for the weapon. Hahaha! Told you he never fails to surprise me. But, that was not the bEsT pArT.

Am supposed to test PTE Neil on his GPMG> whether he stay in or not depends on the results of this test. I know I can NEVER communicate with him one to one, so ask Elvin, Jon and Kenny to sit beside. Also to make sure I was fair. Too bad for him, he must perform the same mistake as the previous test. It is not a small one, but one which gave him an immediate failure. Really can't help him in this.

End of the day, about to fall out was one of the worse. EVERYONE was looking for me. 2WO Lui looking for me to wash the water can for tomorrow's company breakfast and collect ladles from Mdm Ngeo. OC and MSG Sivan looking for me to go for meeting to explain and reveal the verdict of Neil's re-re-re-test. (actually the "re" still goes on.) me on the hand need to return the t-loaned gauges to toolstore and do the area cleaning. WOAH! I am only a human! I am NOT ABLE TO SPLIT!!! How to answer to so many things at a go. Sigh! Anyway, decide to bring my own ladle from home since my mum is in Malaysia. Thanks to Fangsheng, Jon blah! for helping me clean the water can. So went for meeting.

Bloody shit! The meeting which totally waste my time. All Neil could say was give him another chance, he will pass next test and he will stay in if he should fail then. He was almost crying. Felt so pitiful for him. Guess CPT Don feels the same and gave him another chance by asking him to re-sit the test after fall out. I agree to stay back looking on his plight. Guess I was wrong. He was so bloody cocky when he came out of the office. "Over my dead body will I stay in!" was what he said when he was alone with Kenny and me. Decided that unless he learns his lesson, he will keep treating us like fools. To me, since I gave my word to CPT Don to stay back test him, I hold on to that promise. Though was unable to find anymore questions to shoot at him, I tried all ways to shoot at him the crucial but easy missed out problems. Once again, not by my questions which he failed totally, but the fact he was unable to spot 1 of the barrels, which was of another weapon the one he was inspecting. Once again, immediate failure. Sorry to say, the mixed up barrel and receiver was not planted by me. I only realized it when the test was in progress.

Once again, he must burst into that pitiful look. Even to the extent of hyperventilating himself to land himself into hospital. SICK GUY! To me, I've seen through him. As the saying goes, Once beaten, twice shy. I will not help him again. He must find all ways to escape, even to the extent of calling his parents to call up CPT Don. Such a behavior really shows how childish and spoilt he is. Totally disgust me. As I said before, I will never respect him nor treat him with any extra care that I showered with others. He doesn't deserve it. Today, I proved myself so right. Lucky for him, luck is still on his side as I believe CPT Don, on the favour of Ian, allowed him to stay out tonight. Bloody shit guy actually thinks his brother is backstabbing him.

Can't justice just out this Neil into somewhere else for defiling the name of my respected upperstudy? Ian, you will always be the just and righteous guy whom I will always respect. Though you did not teach me any weapons, admin and project wise, he taught me really a lot, a lot. For this, he earns every bit of my respect. Thanks Ian!

Ok, enough of this Neil problem. Shall let nature decide Neil's fate tomorrow. Shall wind up here. Nitey!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/22/2003 09:41:00 PM

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Sunday, December 21, 2003

Movie Marathon 
Hi!!! Surprised I did not update my blog yesterday!!! Don't worry! It is not that I am sick of updating it or yesterday was SO boring till nothing to write. Yesterday I was on guard duty. Did not come home, so only able to update now. Yah, just step in the house. Ok, today's blog is going to be long. Will start from sad yesterday till happy today.

Yesterday had to go to camp pretty early due to the COC CO parade. So many big shots were there to witness the event. Me, being the flag party, must therefore be super well dressed. No choice, army is all a big "hu-ha" when it comes to this type of things. Anyway, was bloody nervous. While marching in, literally all eyes were on me and 2 of my other flag escort party. (LT Mervyn carrying the flag while 1SG Syed was the other flag escort.) Why? Cause we are carrying the state flag. So bloody nervous till my hands keep shaking. In turn, my bayonet mounted on my rifle keeps shaking. Hahaha! Thank God!!! All went well.

After that noon, when down to the guardroom to replaced Elvin as guard 2, who was standing in for me in the morning. Actually this duty belonged to him, but due to a performance on the same day, I offered to help him by replacing him. Wonder how his performance went? Ask him tomorrow. Also must not forget to ask him if Wild Boar flew him an aeroplane.

Duty that day was terrible. The guard commander, 2SG Colin sucks to the core!!! Made so many bloody lame jokes, but still must laugh along with him. Why? Keep him in a happy mood, least my guards don't suffer that much. There was still a turn out, but just a quick one. Glad my guard could respond quickly and turn out in about a min, I guess. Though the timing was about 3 mins plus, this was due to the fact he started the stopwatch early as he claimed he shouted "turn out" earlier. BLOODY SHIT GUY!!! Turn out don't even bother to tell neither me nor the DO (who happens to be Tong Cai yesterday). did not even give me the respect as a guard 2. SHIT GUY!!! However, what can I say??? Still must act like I am very supportive of him. Bloody shit to me. Feel so like killing myself. Never felt so fake before in my life. Pray I never do duty with him EVER AGAIN!!! This BALL SUCKER, APPLE POLISHER, BOOTLICKER, FAKE, PRETENTIOUS ETC. SICK A**H***!!!

Anyway, this morning immediately after duty, rushed down to Bishan Junction 8 to meet Jeremy for a movie. Yah! It is the long-awaited Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. had to say it is a BLOODY LONG MOVIE. Slightly disappointed in the sense the action on how Saruman was killed is so short and easy. Don't see how such a powerful guy, the almost first evil villain in the show, was so easily defeated. Also disappointed with how draggy the ending was. Bladder almost burst, yet the show was still showing the ending. Want to end, want to end, still not end. So sickening to watch a show with a full bladder, yet not wanting to go to the gents as don't want to miss anything. However, on overall, it is a good 3 hours plus show.

Then after that, met Niu lang, Peici and Chaowei for another show, Infernal Affairs 3. Yah, MY NIU LANG IS BACK!!! And yes, I am going for a movie marathon. Anyway, really SUPER HAPPY to finally meet my niu lang again. Yah, am happy to see PC and CW too. Had such a busy time recently, felt been months since I last see them. Miss them so much! Anyway, the movie was SOOOOOO CONFUSING!!!!! Really gotta ask Kevin tomorrow to explain the story to me. The show keeps jumping around. Present, future, and now. Even the ending was so confusing. Hahaha! Ended up walking out of the cinema still trying hard to decipher what was the story or ending about. Hahaha! Just sad that 2 ladies died. Carina Lau and Kelly Chen. Honestly, gotta say that, Kelly Chen looks real ugly when she cry in this movie. Hahaha! Sorry all fans of hers out there!!!

So after the movie, went to Kenny Rogers for dinner. Only then did I realize I left my unit singlet at the restaurant I dined in in the afternoon. Left it on the seat in Pasta Mania. Anyway, the food at Kenny Rogers was not impressive. Had quite a lot of leftovers. But at least the company of my this family of buddies was enough for me.

After the meal, went window-shopping around Marina Square and Suntec, where it was utterly crowded. Don't understand Sundays night the place is still buzzing with people. Don't soldiers need to book in while working people need an early night??? More so, aren't we going through an economy crisis??? From the look of it, DEFINITELY NOT!!! Hahaha! Anyway, met Alan Goh went going home. Had to pop over to Pasta Mania again to collect back my singlet. Real glad I could get it back. Even more glad they did not use it as a rag. Hahaha!

Ok, blog really long. Plus tomorrow must be back to work, so shall end here with a BIG THANKS to Chaowei for the wonderful Christmas present. A CONVERSE BAG!!! Yah! I love bags. All types of bags. When it comes to bags, I will never say too many. Hahaha!!! Thank you!!! Probably going carry it tomorrow. Ok, need to sleep already, if I can. Can confirm it is the 3rd night I couldn't sleep. Hope tonight is not the 4th. Ok, nitey!!!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/21/2003 11:28:00 PM

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Friday, December 19, 2003

Midnight Outcry 
Was totally so sad last night till couldn't grab a wink. Decided to call a friend out to talk to. Don't want mention who. Anyway, talk throughout the whole night under the sky of stars. Though feel much better after it, but can't help but still feel a bit sad. If I could only escape into the stars and not come back. How I wish I could. Getting lost in it and bye to this cruel and disappointing world. Anyway, took a cab back home, pack my bag and went out immediately. Could feel the toil of a night without sleep slowly taking over me when in the bus with Jon. However, I feel it is worth it.

Work was little today I'm glad, give me time to relax. Glad the section can still function without much of my help. Thank God I still have some control of my emotions today. This 3SG See really gets on my nerves. Fancy asking the dumbest of the dumbest questions. So surprised till all those around could not believe their ears what they were hearing. How to spell the "4" in the phrase "smart 4"? FOUR lah! Kindergarten children also know how to spell!!! Still got many dumb questions. Don't want put them all down.

Anyway, was also pretty glad there was an early release for all COC parade personnel. (Just for information, personnel is pronounce as "Per-Sir-Nell", not personal!!!) Gave me time to go home and bake the cookies for Wild Boar. My very first customer and order. Hehe!

Now trying to get this blog finish and go have an early night. Really need it. Though there is still sadness in me, I believe I will be dragged down the dingy hole again. Shall end here with a description of my niu lang as promise. To mark the day where he come back from Taiwan. Nitey!

My Thought Of Koh Zhi Wei AKA Niu Lang
I knew this guy during the start of my JC life. He belongs to my Orientation Group. Find him so lonely so decide to approach him. Finding those lonely ones makes finding friends easier. Anyway, he really clicked with me. We followed up to the same Civics Tutorial Class. Triple science was the subject combination. However, he left for VJC after the 1st 3 months, leaving me back in NYJC with a small bunch of closely-knitted friends. Now can be called my brothers and sister, Peici and Chaowei.

Was really glad we still remained very good friends despite the distance of both colleges. Soon we were so closed together, we're called Niu Lang & Zhi Nu. The distance between us became the Swallow Bridge. Hahaha! Childish huh?

Anyway, he is a really really great niu lang to me. Always there for me when I needed help. Still remembered the time when I was facing family problems, he offered to be the pillar for me. Never forget the numerous times I break down and he raised me up again. Never a word of complain.

Also a very generous guy. Will always remember his "magic wallet", he among the group will always have a $50 note tuck in a secret compartment of it. At times when I am financial in need, he always offered to treat me. Guess he knows my character as the form of spendthrift. Hehehe! He never asked a cent back. Make me feel so guilty.

One very available guy, very suitable to be married with, not to be as a boyfriend. He is so super shy!!! Not knowing him is really a great loss. Very clever and also is an officer in the army. Now I sound so like advertising him. Hahaha! He is NOT a product, alright?

End with saying that he is one guy in life I'll die for. Will never let you down. Be it through the fire or the pit of death, if he say he will go through it with you, he will. Definitely one person to benchmark with. Niu Lang!!! You I RESPECT! Niu Lang, Zhi Nu Forever!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/19/2003 08:43:00 PM

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Thursday, December 18, 2003

Unexplainable Sadness 
Ever felt like that before? It is not fatigue. It is not insomnia. It is also not physical. Let's just say it is emotionally and mentally. The cause factors are still running all over me, but in hiding. I just can't explain it. It is draining me everyday. The smile I wear everyday is fading gradually. Believe there will be a day where I'll fall and never stand up again. It is coming soon. Very soon in the near coming future. Nothing or nobody will ever be able to pick me up.

Just imagine of this scenario. You walk along a road of holes and traps. There are people along it too and even more in the air. But the difference is that they are just glimpses of light. They appear and soon dim away. Whenever you try catch hold on one, you fall through them and enter a hole. This is for the fact they are mirages and illusions. When you finally climb out of the dingy hole, someone must step on you and push you back in. However, you always get back on the road again, closing yourself up, not believing in the flicking lights. Till you see another, you try the same stunt and drop into another hole. At times, it is different, you find others in the hole and pull them up. You are pulled down and they got out. To make things worse, they disappear into the sky. This keep occurring till it finally wears you away. Till one day, you fall into one very deep hole and unable to get up. Then all the lights reappear on the road, your absence totally unaffected by anyone. You try once again to get up, but this time the people on the road keeps kicking dirt into the hole, burying you in it. Soon the holes are all filled and the road is smooth. Life goes on without the world knowing you. Do you feel a total waste of yourself?

I am feeling this now. The thing is I am not at the start of the story but very very near to the end of this so-called happy-ending story. Shall end this short. After all, my existence is really meaningless. No point in further elaboration.

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/18/2003 08:10:00 PM

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Wednesday, December 17, 2003

E.O.G.M. Cum Happy Hour 
Wonder what EOGM stands for right??? Hahaha!!! Super dumb name. Extra-Ordinary General Meeting. Don't ask me it is for what. Total waste of time. Anyway, just chop chop ate a bit during the happy hour and left camp. Really got to admire Elvin. Such guts to ask permission to leave from CO as CPT Don was not around. WOAH!!!

What else I did today? Had a parade in the morning. As usual, total waste of time. It is always the same few movements. Really wish I could at least join in with the contingent. Join in their training. Though I don't need any drills, thought I could still join in practice then sit aside and idle. Prefer practice with all my friends than alone. Sigh! Hey! Being flag party is not nice life k? Very lonely and boring! Sigh! Fate!

Afternoon went outstation with Kevin, Da Loh and Elvin to shop for christmas deco for my company at The Concourse. Pretty surprising manage to keep to the near budget of $50. Though I must admit it, think the christmas tree will be slightly bare. Never mind, see tomorrow how.

Also, went over to Tanjong Pagar to pay for the down payment of my company's dinner. Then went over to my niu lang's place to eat. Actually, just his house downstairs. Sort of make me think my niu lang still in Taiwan. Sigh!

Ok, end here tonight. Suppose to write a lot today. But was disturb by many sms today. Plus my Charmed is going to start. See if I can add anything later. End off with my first description list of one of my friends. One of the frequent customers to my Blog, someone who keeps my counter jumping. Probably it is a good idea. Ok, here it goes and Nitey!

My Thoughts Of Jonathan Chen
Why I am writing about him tonight is because he have been disturbing my HP since like 8pm till now. So inspiration struck me to write in future a short description of all my close friends around.

He is one guy whom I know during the near end of my service in army. Knew him better when he told me he lived near my place. Remember it was during the COC parade of CMEO. So I asked him if he minded travelling to Ayer Rajar Camp together in the wee hours of the morning.

Got to know him better when I travel daily to and fro from camp to home with him except on duty days or special reasons. Plus, he is also under my section. Felt a need to know all my guys well in my section if I want to work with them.

Find he is a very industrious guy. A typical SAJC guy whom gives me the very chinese look but very profound English. But he holds no "air" around him. Humble and willing to help all around him.

He is a great worker as you can entrust him with a job and rest assured it is in good hands. When in doubt, he will always ask till he is sure. Make it a point to give his best in everything he does. However, this is just the beginning state, so he works a little slow at times. However, to me, quality is better than a hasty job.

He is a great friend too. Nice to talk to. Suans me once in a while together with Kenny and Kevin. Don't mind about it as it really helps to brighten up my really dull life. Also a great shoulder to lean on. Whenever I have troubles, he is there to listen. Just one thing, he likes to give a lot of naggy pep talk. In turn, influence me to give another lengthy pep talk. And the cycle goes on and on and on. At least, he encourages me, which I feel much better. But also feel like a counselor or a preacher. Hahaha!

Wind up here. He is a really great brother to have whom deserves everyone to have in their lives. Will take all it takes to maintain this friendship. You have a gift of speech and a very caring heart, like a care bear. A nature of learning and very hardworking. There is still much to write about you. And it will keep my Blog too long. So only write down all those obvious ones. You have many other talents and character which deserved to be praise! Anyway, keep up all these qualities and you will go far!

p.s. Next person I definitely talk about is my niu lang. Just keep track and watch out for the next few issues of my blog.

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/17/2003 09:54:00 PM

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Tuesday, December 16, 2003

A Week Of Endless Sadness 
My week can't seems to get any better. First, there was yesterday. Then there is today. So bad till I don't think any normal week can get any worse.

Morning was fine. Did 1 GPMG despite was being told by MSG Sivan to hand it over to Daniel Loh and Joshua to repair. Guess I was a bit rebellious in this way. The problem is that he did not assign any job for me. So can't expect me to go around ba-long-long act like I am super busy right? But I think that is what he wanted me to do. In the sense, walk around and take care of the section, since my 2IC is gone; he needs someone to act as the second IC. Believe he already knew in his heart I was not going to let one day go by without touching anything. I like repairing; plus helps to kill time. So when he saw me with the GPMG receiver, he asked me to train up my section's stand-in 2IC, 3SG See Kwok Siong. But I guess again, it is only in name since he is a regular. Bigger SIGH!

Ok, that was one of the bad things. Having train him is one of the hardest. He is very inquisitive. Everything I do he must poke his head, not nose, and meddle. Having him around is sometimes really uncomfortable. He looks at you repairing like I am an alien or what. Plus some of the methods used are very illegal, even to MSG Sivan. So it is like want to do, cannot do. Want to hide but he will dig in. want to chase him away but he keeps coming back. How to work like that!?!?!?! Plus his understading EVEN AFTER HIS COURSE, is almost still ZERO!!! How can this be!?!?! Glad I have Parames to talk to as she feels the same way as me. Hahaha!

Down to the next misfortune, was pretty ready for the parade today. Ended up, it had to rain. Fancy drawing then sending arms like idiots. Total played out. However, it is not so simple. Finally find out there is extra practice for the day by RSM for the flag party. (Just for information, I am the arms escort in the flag party; Don't ask me how I got it, but thank you RSM.) However, it always got to be the same few steps then by 5mins, all is over. SICK!!!

Down to the second last one. Supposed to make my spectacles today. Ended up, my mum keeps complaining she is tired. Mean if she is so tired, then I am not. If she do not want to go just say, don't need complain so much. Sometimes just don't understand her. Think I better pay for my own spectacles this time. Get a good (which mean it most likely to be expensive.) pair and one which I like rather than she. Dah!!! Don't think anyone will understand my feelings now. Just want to pay for my spectacles and choose my design. So guess I will have to take in more cookies and brownies order, earn a bit and hope to foot part of my bill.

Ok, last one. The one which tops all of the above. BLOODY SHIT GUY IS BACK AGAIN!!!! DUNNO FOR WHAT F***!!!! Don���t understand why his presence will always disturb my peace and concentration. Can���t stand the sight of him any bit. But like I said before, no one understands my feelings except myself. Apparently, even I can't explain it to myself anyway. Just so sad, so sad. Guess this is going to affect my mood tomorrow again. Sigh! Endless chain reaction.

Ok, anyone reading this, you might not understand what I am talking. It is alright. Just throwing my stress on this blog. Anything you all want to add, just contact me anyway you feel comfortable. SMS, MMS, Email, ICQ etc. Want to talk to me straight in the face, advance booking. Really busy busy busy. Just, lessen the pep talk ok?

Ok, think all the bad scenarios I have all listed them down. Actually got one more. But I decided not to write it down. Seems a little childish. It is a small one. Would like to keep it secret from the party involved. The party do read my blog. So, think I shut this up in my heart.

End here with a pretty sad song. A sad song ringing in my head today. Just feel my existence here is something so extra, so out of place that I become so like a joke. Feel so like a burden, big burden to people around me. Finally end up when I am gone, no one minds nor cares. They are released of a big rock and able to move on, live normally again. Just feeling like this lately. Let the song say my troubles and cries. I Started A Joke by Vonda Shepard from the hit TV series, Ally McBeal.

I started a joke which started the whole world crying
But I didn't see that the joke was on me

I started to cry which started the whole world laughing
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me

I looked at the skies running my hands over my eyes
And I fell out of bed hurting my head from things that I said

Till I finally died which started the whole world living
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me

I looked at the skies running my hands over my eyes
And I fell out of bed hurting my head from things that I said

I finally died which started the whole world living
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me
That the joke was on me

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/16/2003 09:52:00 PM

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Monday, December 15, 2003

Now I See, Now I Don't 
A day which everything don't turn out right. Really really wrong. Early morning, I was late, then miss the bus. Ended had to catch 159 to terminal. Will kill myself if I am late today. Why? Weekly OC parade.

Secondly, don't understand why I was feeling super hungry today. BLOODY HUNGRY!!! Can't seem to concentrate on repair whole morning. Ended up only doing a few half past six inspections and repaired nothing else. Was working on a barrel only that's what I mean. But did not complete it.

Lunchtime soon came. Had to break my routine and go cookhouse to eat. Come to say the truth, cookhouse food is not really that bad lah. Or should I say, probably I'm just hungry. Never mind, try tomorrow again. Really badly short on funds this month. And it is like only the 15th. Just 5 days since pay day. Not a good sign. Plus dunno what become to my appetite? Been hungry very often. Sounds like I am pregnant or what!?!?!?! Hahaha!!! I am sick!!! Probably feeling a bit empty for the loss of my niu lang. Sigh! Where are you???

Thirdly, which I can call it the biggest event of today. sOmEoNe (From today onwards I will use this more from. sOmEoNe don't like, I purposely use. But I know he sure got something to pick and throw it back at me.) broke my spectacles. Not the glasses lah, but the frame. Dunno how it happened as I just woke up from lunch nap. All I know was HE calling me to wake up. Next moment, he was like going oh! Oh! and I saw my spectacles crippled without one leg. My hands from sleeping, have became totally numb and now am blinded. What else can I do? FALL IN LAH!!! Besides, he was so apologetic, what can I say??? Believe it was on accident. But I really love this frame. Chosen by my niu lang for me. Just hope this is not a bad omen to tell me something has happen to my niu lang. Please God, don't! But wanna thanks to MSG Sivan for fixing my spectacles for me. Can't see how lah, but he did it. Ok, when I am without spectacles, I am really blind. 1400 degrees per side, what you think? Wonder what I am going to wear tomorrow. Hey Jon, don't worry lah. Not blaming you for it lah. Could have happen to anyone. No guilty feelings ok? I'm cool!

Lastly, it must be Neil again. Small matter lah. Probably due to the fact I already don't have a very good impression of him. So got pretty mad. Ask him to lock up the sectional tool chest, he just sat there and played. As if I was talking to a wall. (Even a wall will have echo.) NAH!!! Was intending to punish him by making stay back to lock it up. Ended up must be this goody-goody Jon who closed them up. Am even intending to recommend to MSG Sivan tomorrow to punish him by asking him to open and lock up the section for the whole week. Thinking of Jon's actions, and the mentioning of Jia Hao on the bus just now, forget it. Don't think I am the sort who will go report small matters. Make me look so like Mdm Lim Ku By. But he better not step over the border tomorrow again. Give him a chance.

Ok lah, Blog long enough. Pay back for yesterday's short blog. Nitey pals!!!

p.s. Apparently, despite the state of my brownies yesterday, my section totally wiped them up before even it reached MSG Sivan's BIKE. Hahaha!!! Joke!!! So nice??? Hmmm!!!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/15/2003 08:40:00 PM

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Sunday, December 14, 2003

HTML SUXS!?!?!?! 
Realli bored today. So tryin out different style of changin my Blog. But can't seem to work. Keeps turning into dunno what rubbish. But I am going to try still. Either the Blog gives up, or I go ga-ga. NEVER GIVE UP!!! GARANG!!!! But presently, I find it still sucky. Try changing it another day liao. Pretty sick of it now. So just conc on updatin on my sucky Blog n chat on ICQ with this Tai-ye-ye n Jon.

Anyway, this morning was also pretty sucky. Later part of my day will suck even worse. So boring! So decide to update my Blog now since I noe nothing will happen later.

Talk about this morning, was baking Brownies. Quite successful in a sense. Fudgy fudgy ones. Just never grease my pan enough. Ended up when time to pop them out of the pan, they came out in bits n pieces. Oh!!! so dead.... Supposed to bake it for MSG Sivan. Hope by cutting them into cubes will help cover it up. Hahaha!!!

Lah!!! So tired of this senseless Blog still. Never mind, end early today. Good dayz...

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/14/2003 04:56:00 PM

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Saturday, December 13, 2003

Farmart Fun"art" 
A square of shops on a small piece of ground. Trying to show the joys of agriculture and kampong life. But really think they are trying to hard. Reminds me more like a half-dry, half-wet market I visit at least once a week. Hahaha!!! The only fascinating thing on this tour is the bearded goat, the half-sleeping bees and the ever so cute puppies! So cute till if the shop was open, I believe I'll have bought one home. Hahaha!!! The bees due to the rain, many already all halfway to meet Zhou Gong.

Yah, this is the place where I went to for my unit's Family Day. It is called Farmart located at Chua Choa Kang. My very first impression of this place is one which is meant for aged people to go visit, to relive their past or relax. Plus I am still sick; the mood of me is really not there when I entered the gates. But I went through it anyway. It was drizzling anyway. (Probably due to this, it dampened many hearts.) Felt it could have been more successful if the waiting time between the end of the tour and lunch is shorten. That really long period of waiting really makes everyone sleepy. Plus the lunch after that wasn't even good till where. The chicken seems to been dipped in a tub of soya sauce. Tasted totally salty. The vegetables, really a bit bland. Just imagine direct after lunch, I even went for 2nd lunch with Jon at McDonald's. (Thank God he asked, else I'll have gone home and cooked Maggi Mee.) Yah, thanks for the treat, Jon! HEY!!! I am not poor yet, alright!?!?! I have still ****** in my bank account. (Nice try if anyone out there is trying to squeeze out the figures in my bank account.)

Funny thing, met a few of my ex-54SAB mates at Mc. Plus Eric can't remember, can't remember yet, can't remember still. Yah, really can't recall his surname nor chinese name. (Am I getting THAT old???) He was one of my ex-section's members. After went to OETI for course and now posted to unit. Nice but quiet guy. Also got this long lost buddy who called me up today. Really surprised to hear from him again. Talk almost for 3 hours. Woah! Still so much to catch up.

Ok, last point to add before I wind up. Gotta know some things today. POINT TO NOTE: NEVER make a promise or agreement, no matter how small it is, if you can't fulfill it. Think I'm pretty guilty of this sometimes. Hey!!! To this person who confided in me today, give this person another chance. I believe he is worth your second hope. Just probably he cares a lot on popularity, so much till at times to achieve this, he forgets the small parts of life. Don't think he means it. Try speaking to him maybe, if you really treasure him as one of your close friends. Don't let this friend slip out of your life by bottling up all the minors.

My experience with ********* and me was different. We've been pretty good terms all the while. I understand his commitments and hardships at times as I am walking behind his footsteps too. Helps me to be tolerable. As the saying goes, Walk a mile in each other's shoes. Very true. Let you in to something, I've even fought with him before. Got really heated up. Can ask those guys who were still around then. We patched up and still great friends.

So I believe there is still hope no matter what. Solve it when the problem is young ok? You should know who you are when you read this. Don't worry, will not spill the beans on this. Alright, shall end now. Good Dayzzz!!!

Just end with another song from S CLUB 7. Not for my niu lang, but for this really troubled brother of mine. Don't look it in the way for lovers, but really close friends. Take a moment to think through it, k?

Have You Ever

Sometimes is wrong to walk away
Though you think is over
Know it there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moments gone
And all your dreams are upside down
You just want to change
The way the world goes round
Tell me...

Have you ever love and lost somebody
Wish there's was chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see that's the way I feel
About you and me, baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Looking down the road you should be taking
I should know
'Cause I love and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong
We should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I finally realize
It was forever that I found
I give it all to change
The way the world goes round
Tell me...

Have you ever love and lost somebody
Wish there's was chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see that's the way I feel
About you and me, baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Looking down the road you should be taking
I should know (I should know)
'Cause I love and lost the day I let you go

I really want to hear you say
That you know just how it feels
To have it all let it slip away
Can't you see
If I know the moments gone
I still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change
The way world goes round
Tell me...

Have you ever love and lost somebody
Wish there's was chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see that's the way I feel
About you and me, baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Looking down the road you should be taking
I should know (I should know)
'Cause I love and lost the day I let
Yes I love and lost the day I let
Yes I love and lost the day I let you go

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/13/2003 06:47:00 PM

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Friday, December 12, 2003

Bridge Over VERY Troubled Waters 
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Dun worry, I'm not crazy yet. Still very sane. Just super overjoyed today one BLOODY BIG BURDEN is off my shoulders. So relief. The rest of them are just small kick.

PRIDE event today was very successful. But I don't really care much. No one really cares how much effort we the NSF committee put in anyway. By right, all committee members were supposed to have a PRIDE tee shirt. However, we were left out. When ask to take photos of the PRIDE committee, again we were left out. You think is it worth to feel happy for it??? Definitely not for me. Just like woke up from a very bad nightmare. Felt totally mistreated, but now, FREEDOM!!!! Just wanna extend my congrates to my team of NSF who I consider outstanding forgotten warriors. Alan!!! Nicholas!!! Wenshan!!!! Feel honour working with you all. Just pray we do not get anymore of this type of top grade sai kang anymore.

Anyway, was hit pretty badly by shaving cream today during the finale game, Shaving the Balloon. Yah, hit by shaving cream. All thanks to Heavy Arms personnel. Thought by hiding within them was the safest. Bloody wrong!!! Whack by them till all white. Even entered my ears. So hard to clean them. Washed up a bit and then got whacked up by my Small Arms personnel. Can't be happening!?!?! Even now I am still slightly smelling of shaving cream. Or maybe just my imagination. But best part of the game was being lead by CPT Don to stomp our guard room to find our Wild Boar, Goh Yong Hua who was in hiding. The guardroom was so surprised to see a group of literally white men approaching. Hahaha!!! One visitor at the guardroom was even more stunned than ever. If I was in his shoes, I'll definitely be wondering if I entered an army camp or amusement theme park. Hahaha!!! Anyway, we got Wild Boar eventually who was hiding in the HA locker room. Hahaha!!!

Think my guys are still stuck in camp now CeLeBrAtInG the completion of Exercise Wild Eagle. They are having a BBQ dinner. As for me, got special permission from CPT Don to go home early. Thanks a lot. Think today guard duty pretty fun. So many people to accompany them till so late. But wonder how to enjoy at tomorrow's family day. So bloody tired. Nvm, good luck, Jon. My bed misses me once again. Ok, shall end here. So lonely already. My niu lang also gone to Taiwan this morning. Left me this poor zhi nu here in Singapore to rot. Sigh! Days are hard to pass. Nitey!!!

p.s. Didn't pay much attention to the results of PRIDE day but I believe we got 1st for the sculpture event. Too busy trying to slap shaving cream on everybody. Hahaha!!!

Never Had A Dream Come True

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you know

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
And so my road can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say (words to say)
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be with you

Thot I share a song which my niu lang & me immediately liked the moment we heard it at Plaza Singapura's CD Rama. Niu lang, come back safely and enjoy urself!!!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/12/2003 08:56:00 PM

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Thursday, December 11, 2003

Out-"STANDING"-Station 
Today another day of slack without weapons for me. Morning had my 2nd COC CO parade training. Went very smoothly. Thanks to Kok Seng for standing in for me as my reserve today. Leg still bloody painful. Now really much better. Probably due to the out-station.

Outstation is a term used in my company when you go out of camp to work. For me, I went out with a group of good friends to buy Seow Ping-jie's wedding present. Got her a wedding couple bears and a card, on behalf of the whole section. Anyway, Jon, Jeff, Da Loh, and Kevin were the group. Went over to Northpoint to eat then shop. Kev and Da Loh left us later. Da Loh to head down to Bras Besar to fetch Sam & Wan Poo while Kev went for his MA (medical appointment). We headed straight to Ang Mo Kio Centre to get some party poppers for the PRIDE day sculpture. Ended up, only went window shopping. Got back by 3pm and in a fall out mood. Hahaha! Jeff and Jon headed back to work while for me, still got to set up the PRIDE day venue.

So much of walking, and my pain soon subside. BLOODY SHIT!!!! My fever came back!!! Now just taken some panadol. Hope will get well soon. Else tomorrow is going to be a long day. PRIDE DAY and dinner celebration; enough to make me sick.

Hmmm��� like to thank GOD for helping me. I offer to change my duty with Elvin on the 20th despite the bloody garang guard commander. Somehow, it is just a miracle that I found out today. My DO is going to be CHEN TONG CAI. Hahaha!!! Stroke of luck and blessing!!!! Something to be happy about.

Last but not least (my least is still a lot), got into another raging argument, or not so raging lah, with Lim Toh Poon again. Something to do with CDO box being sealed, cannot retrieve key to lock toolstore and need the toolstore IC. Don't understand him at times for one small matter must blow it so unproportionally big. Feel so like slapping him. Don't want describe too much as there is sensitive issues.

Anyway, find Jon's saying of me not able to cope with my anger just due to inability to cope with my stress quite true. Whenever my stress level hits a certain limit (let's say this limit is really high limit k?), I tend to get very worked up at the smallest problems. Hmmm��� POINT TO NOTE: To cope with my anger, I need to manage my stress and jobs well. I know I will not be able to do it alone. So need all my friends up there. Sorry for all the anger I ShOwErEd on you all. Am willing to change. Please give me the time and support. Help if can. Not meaning if you need help, you all siam from me. Just tell me to calm down should I lose it again. Am always BLOODY WILLING to help all my friends up there when in need. So you all don't BLOODY COME AND SIAM ME. Kill you all if I find out.

Ok, better end now. 8pm liao. Promised sOmEoNe to sleep by then. Nitey!!!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/11/2003 07:58:00 PM

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Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Opps! A Daisy!!! 
WAH LAU!!! Today so bloody paiseh! Fell down in Ang Mo Kio Centre. Was there during the afternoon. Actually I went over to Serangoon Gardens first, with a lift from Da Loh. Collected my parcel which was a bag from National Geographic. Looks quite okay lah. Came all the way from New Zealand. Anyway, before returning to camp, transit at AMK Centre. Bought some food stuff plus a Hugo Boss perfume. It is meant for my locker. Don't wanna it to stink lah. Ok, on the way to the bus stop, don't understand why I lost footing and fell. Probably still feeling a little sick today lah. Now really feeling quite feverish. Sigh! Eat Panadol and see first. After so long finally got ill. Not to divert, yah, I fell sideways. BLOODY SHIT!!! quickly pick myself up and pretend nothing has happened. Despite the pain, still force myself to walk. Really hope it will get better tomorrow. Still got parade. Did bleed a little in the arm, but is the bruise on my hip the worse. Aching like mad now. Hope no broken bones.

Ok, news at work, Neil failed again. If by Friday he fails to buck up, GOD BLESS HIM!!! He can join hands with our PTE Hanafi and 3SG Iswandi and stay in. Can't really say much but can't help a person who does not helps himself. Wasted so many people efforts trying to teach him. SIGH!!! Just watch out for Friday's entry and you all will see the grand outcome.

Ok, need to end a bit early tonight. Not that preparing for Charmed. Am going to record it tonight. Going to go out for supper at Serangoon Gardens AGAIN with Elvin, Kevin, Jon and Jeff. Dunno how my first meeting with them will be like. See first lah. Ok, will wrap up here today with a song from Avril Lavigne. Describes the irony of today. Hahaha!!! Here goes "Falling Down". Nitey!!!

If fears what makes us decide,
Our future journey,
I'm not along for the ride,
Cuz I'm still yearning,
To try and touch the sun,
My fingers burning,
Before you're old you are young,
Yeah I'm still learning

I am falling down,
Try and stop me,
It feels so good to hit the ground,
You can watch me,
Fallin on my face,
It's an uphill human race,
And I am falling down
I'm standing out in the street,
The earth is moving,
I feel it under my feet,
And I'm still proveing,
That I can stand my ground,
And my feet are there, haven't washed my hair
Too be lost before you are found,
Don't mean you are losing

Some day I'll live in a house
Etc. , etc. , etc.
Don't you know that's not for now
And for now I'm falling
Down... down... down... ,
Down... down... down,
Down... down... down,
Yeah e Yeah... Yeah e Yeah,

I'm falling down,
I'm falling down... I'm falling down...
I'm falling...

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/10/2003 08:34:00 PM

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Tuesday, December 09, 2003

SLACK Day!?!?!?! 
Today was quite a nice day. Did not touch even a single weapon today. Hahaha!!! Think this must be one of the slackest days since I can think of. So now stay in the mess to update my blog. Am supposed to come up here to help up with my WITs board. Guess I no one here is doing it...

One big event of the day... Elvin keeps pestering me to change duty with him... No lah... actually I offered lah. But, the guard commander sucks. 2SG COLIN NG leh!!!! SHITTY!!!! Nvm, Elvin is worth the trouble. Haha!!! (stupid BK, now disturbing me from updating my blog)

Anyway, my godmum, Mdm Norsiah visited us today during noon. Pleased to know she is still clearing leave. SHe really looks very much more radiant then before. Thank God for all the kuei-kuei she brought today. Ate really pretty full...

Ok, today I also lost a locker. Had to give it up as the new guys' locker room is being dismantled. Hahaha!!! Now shitty... all my clothes must smell like my shoes. Better get a stronger deoderant for my locker. Or perhaps of thinking investing in a perfume. Hehehe!!! Anyway, back to the days of changing in a real crowded room. Mass orgy again. Haha!!

Ok, end it here for the while. Might add some other entries when I reach home later. C first lah.

p.s. Silly Ku By keeps trying to talk to me nonsense today. Can't get any sense out of it. Hahaha!!! Must be his age. Getting too old liao. Ok, need to go. Go back workshop to do AAR. Tell you when I have time. MSG Sivan chasing me liao. Byezzz....

Ok, can continue my blog at home. Just went out to shopping at my nearby Shop & Save. Bought quite a lot despite feeling a bit feverish. Nvm, instead of being nag at, think I rather tahan a bit, get something done. Now feeling a bit worse. Sigh, just quickly update and think Jon's advice and have an early night.

Ok, AAR is something even after the explanation by our trying so hard to be cool, Vijay and CPT Don, I still don't get it. Just sounds like another nonsense stuff to try make our present lives more perfect, when it succeed in only making our lives more miserable. Don't wanna try explain it here when I don't understand.

K, need to sleep early and prevent sOmE pEoPlE from saying I'm naggy. But I will still update everyday until one day is super boring. K, nitey!!!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/09/2003 04:57:00 PM

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Monday, December 08, 2003

Spinning Out Of Control... 
I can confirm I really do not have what it takes to be an IC. Just can't seem to even give a good morning sectional briefing, wonder what else is good of the rest of me? Sigh!!! Dun even have a good start plus a night of nightmares, feel I hardly slept last night. Totally bushed today.

Also feeling pretty guilty today. Last nite's visit to MSG Sivan's house has unknowingly arrowed Jon today. Sigh! Say the truth, at least he can break his Zero-fighter in the USMS. But sort of feeling still very guilty. Am really really sorry Jon. Though he puts it in a way he don't mind, still keep feeling deep inside he is going to kill me. Dunno why... Told you all I'm not the IC material. Can't even put my heart to ease to small arrows.

Section weapons are at the minimal already. Oh yah��� dun even know what is my section's holding of weapons. What IC is that??? F*** myself man!!! Quite lost today. So decide to have a nice walk to cookhouse today. Relax a bit and try the cookhouse. Come to say of it, not bad lah. Probably can join the crowd if I am free in future. Just see first.

Noon was worse. Really lethargic. Had a bathe but futile. Add on the stress, Mr. Choo (from MP&C) must bother me with his rejection of my group's WITs projects. Even went to the extent of teaching me how to do butt crack. F***ing C**B*!!! I belong to RS2 and did the inventory of my section tools! What is our holding of course I know lah!!! Fancy arguing with me that my section has no wood file. There IS a wood file so what the big F*** about it. Shit GUY!!! Just think he was an ex-armorer and presently in MP&C and he knows the WHOLE BLOODY WORLD. BLOODY BALLS TO HIM!!!! TAKING HIS P**** & SCREW MY A**!!! sick weirdo!!!

Argh!!! Don't wanna talk about him already. Now must re-do all the projects by Thursday cause the main copy is in Seow Ping's 11B. Really down on luck these days.

Add on, reach home still must be nag and nag and nag at by my mum. When to set up the Christmas tree��� when to send the cordless phone for repair etc. Keep nagging why I am so busy in camp. Completely don't understand me. As if I want to get all these arrows. As if I don't wanna take off. As if I ask for all of these. Really really down no one understand. Everyone just keeps pushing and pushing. Really can't seem to breathe. Even my dreams are affected. Can't control myself at times���. from���

Don't want continue talking already. Really dead tired. End off with a spell from Charmed. To find good luck. Hope it does really bring me out of my own predicament. Nitey!!!

To find good luck,
Finances have run a muck,
Creditors I soon must duck.
I cast a spell to find good luck,
And hope this life will cease to suck.

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/08/2003 08:22:00 PM

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Sunday, December 07, 2003

HouseS Warming 
Had a great day today. Though pretty busy I must admit. Went to 2WO Lui's housewarming at Rosewood Drive. Been there before already since I helped him previously to move house. I think he invited Weihua and me today was due to the fact we helped him move house. We're the only 2 NSF there. Hahaha!!! Anyway, his house after all the rearranging is still pretty small, compared to mine even though I live in a HDB. Think houses are like that nowadays. Anyway, the facilities are good, or should I say, A LOT!!! They have 8 SWIMMING POOLS according to what I heard. What are they thinking??? Underwater World??? Hahaha!!! The food catered was good too, but really too much. Going to pity 2WO Lui. Going to spend the next few lunches and dinners finishing up all the food.

After that, I did not go home. Instead, went over to MSG Sivan's house which was nearby. Thanks him for inviting me over. Had a great time knowing his family and his pretty big 5-room flat. Most amazed was his storeroom AKA bomb shelter. Cool man!!! Anyway, actually spend 4 hours at his house talking to him about work, people n Toh Poon management. Hahaha!!! Guys can be very talkative too, you know??? It is sort of a male prerogative stuff.

Alright, shall end here. Need to spend time on improving my template. Wait, before ending just say something��� HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY, JON! May thee enjoy a great year ahead and many happy returns!!! Nitey!!!

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/07/2003 11:16:00 PM

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Saturday, December 06, 2003

EZ "HARD" Link 
Today was a sad��� happy day. Day full of emotions. So blog going to be pretty long today. Those reading, grab your popcorns and prepare to read k? Hahaha!

Anyway, just came in the house 30mins ago. Very tired from a full day of activities. Early morning went to work with Jon as per normal. Close shave! Almost late. Actually wanted to take cab, but didn't in the end. Must really thank Jon for insisting on not. Jon, Thanks for helping me save money!!! so did area cleaning so as to prepare for Monday's ISO 14001. Another nonsensical paper chase and wayang show. Forget it. I think I can even sleep on the workshop floor now. Hahaha!!!

After work, rush down to Mdm Norsiah's house with Justin and Sivakumar. She lived in Tampines, but still manage to reach in time. Met Seow Ping Jie and her hubby, 1WO Herold (was part of our armt MP&C), 2WO Lui and family, SSG Lim, MSG Tang and SSG Sharon (about to be posted back to base). One thing I found out, Seow Ping Jie' s hubby is actually the COC CMEO parade's Parade Commander!!!! Surprisingly small world huh??? Hahaha!!!

Ok, left her house about 3+. Now the sad part, I discovered my EZ-Link card is unable to scan through. Thank God for the kind bus driver who allowed me through without paying. Anyway, went to check out my status of my card and found it was corrupted. Need to send down all the way to Yishun for replacement. Wonder are the people MAD!?!?! Never mind, I went down anyway with Justin. Got a replacement. But the mad thing was, I can't get back my refund till the 14th!!! Plus, the card they give me will be a BLANK!!!! F***ing BLANK!!! Wat the F*** am I going to do with an empty card?!?!?! Now must top up again to travel manually without concession. On the hold, must still pay another FREAKING $3 for the new card!?!?!?! F*** all the EZ-Link Management!!! Your freaking card gives me problem and I must end up suffering. It is not that I mishandle my card. It is still in very very good condition. No photo fade, no cracks or what the F***! Unless they say we can't place out cards near magnets. Then this is dumb. What is next??? Don't carry yor card with your hands or our body oil will corrupt the card??? Com'on!!! GET A LIFE!!!

Was in a total foul mood when I left Justin to meet up with Peici, Chaowei and Niu Lang for dinner. Once again, thanks Jon for the listening ear. Appreciate it. Wonder why is he still able to bear with me after so much burdens I present to him. Sigh!!! Chaowei was also very good by treating me to Billy Bombers, hoping to cheer me up. He ordered a dish of Buffalo ribs and Coffee Flavoured Cola (My goodness!!! Dun try it. It sucks!!!) for me. Then later, walk down from Bugis all the way till Orchard to watch the Christmas lightings. Can say this year's is one of the worse. Very disappointing. Went home after that. Met a few people today. Hua Qing (from my NYJC's OG) and See Kwok Siong!!! He is supposingly the 3rd IC and regular of the section. Too bad, he is on his BTT TSA course now. Ok, think this is naggy enough. Jon, I know I am naggy��� thank you!!! I admit it. Think you are slightly better. I suck. Thank you!!!

Ok, just wanna end with this mail I got from Sivakumar very long ago. (Seldom check mailbox.) By far the most accurate description of a Taurus guy. Very surprised. Bold those which really describes me. Can comment if you want. K, leave you all with the mail. Nitey!!!

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A quiet simple man who can do something unexpected to shock you. Taurus man mostly medium tall, strong with good health, good strong body. When he talks, he likes to turn his head to one side on one direction. His body will be quite straight, facial structure tend to be square shape more than other shape. His eyes sparkle with liveliness.

Even when he is in love, he is still a free wild bird. He is a sand in your palm, the more you want to hold it, it will slip out. If you stand and hold it still, it will stay that way. (This one is up to you all to judge, not me.) Don't set the rules and draw a line for him, he will not stay. When you are with him, he will think only of you. But an hour later he could change his mind. He is very patient with other people, but very impatient with himself. His world always turning and it will not stop just because he loves you.

If he is upset, he will show it right away. If something has gone wrong, he will blame his own carelessness instead of blaming other people. He sincere to his friends even to some friends he does not like.

He likes to do odd things and surprise other people. (Do I surprised you all??? He could be fully dress in a nice suit and jump in the pool. He could slap your back so hard just to make you turn around to see he has flowers in his hand.

He never want to get too close with anyone for he thinks living in reality is living by yourself. He does not care what people think when he behave weird. He could be walking bare feet and laughing at people who laugh at him and think they are so narrow minded.

He does not likes to follow conformity, but always want to search for new ventures, new mystery. He will interest in a life of a millionaire as much as a life of an old man selling newspaper on a sidewalk vendor.

He like to search and analyze people and things. He will analyze his friends or his girl friend, and once the mystery is gone, he will search for new puzzle to solve. He can not easily understand thing, so he will gradually learning about you till he fills up all his questions. He knows so many people ,but he has a few friends. He looks for quality friends than quantity friends. He will be close with some friends shortly and move on. He always feels lonely even surround by many people. (My MY!!! This whole paragraph is so bloody true!!!)

He could create his own little world, and sometimes no one would understand him. He looks only for future and he thinks he lives for the future. He may wonder how many people think like he does, but he does not want to be like the others.

A man with a conflict personality. He is a cool, understanding, able to work well, and very artistic. Taurus man could be an artist. He could shock you as much as he is able to calm you down when you up set. He is a free spirit who likes venture, but when he wants to be alone, do not touch him but to let him be. He won't disappear from the crowds too long, he will be back.

He will give you straight forward opinion or comments, but will never advice what he thinks you should do. He does not like people to tell him what he should do too. He thinks each individual dreams and thoughts should be very private. He will use his brain not his body strength, so he will let other guys compete. He has a certain satisfactory in life and hate to force himself in competition. He may seems careless, but actually he is a thinker and a stubborn one.

He sees anything in details and not easily trusted people till he thinks he knows them well. You can just smile and he will think why and what are you smiling about, and if you are pretending. Once he trust you and accept you as a friend, no one can says other wise to change that for he will not listen to gossip. He will be honest and sincere to his friends. He hates lies, so he will not tell you lies. If he finds it is necessary to lie, he will find other ways not to tell you or avoid telling you anything. If he really has to lie, you will never be able to tell that he is lying. He can really keep secrets, so you will hardly know that he is a lonely soul. If you want this kind of guy, you have to be an interesting person. He has to be curious about you. Another bloody true paragraph.)

Hell for him is "No Freedom", so if he marry you then you should know it is the biggest decision in his life. Always be interesting, then you could have him beside you.

# Entry By Matt Evans @ 12/06/2003 11:30:00 PM

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